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Some Local Library:
Furious Champion Edition
Thursday, October 13, 2005 - 12:21 p.m. - The Detective
Is this thing still on? I mean cripes, it's been two bloody years. I don't even remember the names the other guys used. I remember Doc and Defenestrator or something like that, but that's it. Well, life goes on, as does the public library system. Until our alien overlords come and take us, of course.
Saturday, February 14, 2004 - 09:06 a.m. - Defenestrator
this stinks...this really stinks
Monday, December 22, 2003 - 09:37 p.m. - Mr. Big
I SWEAR, IF THAT FUCKING OPPOSITIONAL/DEFIANT BITCH STEPS FOOT INTO THE LIBRARY, I WILL CHOKE THE FUCKING LIFE OUT OF HER FUCKING LUNGS WITH MY BARE HANDS UNTIL SHE TURNS FUCKING BLUE AND DIES!!!
Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 10:20 p.m. - Mr. Big
It's been a while since any of us have posted, so I figured I'd go ahead and update you folks on a few things. Personally, for myself, the last few weeks have been eventful, to say the least. Had some serious family stuff going on, and coupled with the fact that my days at the library are numbered (due to my impending graduation and entrance into the world of full-time employment), I just want to go on record and thank everyone who's made this job tolerable, interesting, and on some days, just plain ol' fun.
Any of you who have read this on a somewhat regular basis should have sensed some sort of theme running through each of these narratives. Basically, they all fall under the categories of 1) Big Boss is incompetent and things would run so much more smoothly if I was in charge and 2) those damn patrons.
What I'm trying to say is, there's really nothing I can talk about at this point that wouldn't fall into one of those categories. But believe me, if there were to be some bizarre happenings at your local library, don't you worry, I'll probably be the first to enlighten the lot of you. For tonight, I just want to give out props to everyone who's come and gone over the years, to everyone who's dealt with this madness day in and day out.
Well, I'd better stop with the sentimentality - my manly side's itching to kick my ass right about now...so until next time.
Tuesday, November 11, 2003 - 11:21 p.m. - Mr. Big
How Fucking Helpless Can You People Be?!
I'm getting straight to the point. Some people are losers and need to be shot dead to keep them from bringing down the average. Bottom line.
When a kid is hacking his lungs out, coughing every five seconds and shooting phlegm projectiles, the library is not the place to be. But no, he couldn't leave, because his ten other nigerian siblings were playing on our computers while poor old mommy sat nearby (it's a wonder that she actually stayed) and bemoaned the fact that she never learned what the word "trojan" meant.
In addition to these losers, we also had the two sisters whose total combined IQ was about half of the average person's (which isn't that impressive to begin with). Hell, when you ask multiple times in one night for help with spelling the name of a website that you've visited several times, I think a strangulation is in order. Not to mention the fact that both these girls couldn't grasp the concept that you need to stay at the same computer that you signed up for. Considering the fact that all they did all night was use the damn internet (searching for the Cheetah Girls, no less), it fucking amazes me that their excuse for switching computers all throughout this cursed evening is that they became bored with the ones they were using. I mean hell, what do they want, free internet AND a change in scenery? Who do they think we are, travel-fucking-ocity-dot-com?!
As if this all wasn't enough, my favorite family of demon hellspawn decided to make an appearance tonight. If I got a dime for every time I heard one of the boys (if we can even call them that, fucking bunch of pussy-cunts that they are) whine to his mommy that they couldn't get cartoon (i.e., cartoon-fucking-network-dot-com) to work...
I'm gonna kill somebody. Plain and simple.
Tuesday, November 11, 2003 - 08:53 p.m. - The Sheriff (or the dude once known as the Detective)
You know, for all the bitching that I do about working at your local library, I sure do miss it. Not the work itself, but probably being with most of the people. I like my coworkers. Most of them at least. We get along real well. Today I had to call in sick, so what did I do all day? I played my wrestling video game. For about....5 hours total. Sometimes I wish I was working. It's pathetic, really.
Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 09:17 p.m. - Mr. Big (The Artist Formerly Known as D-Fens)
For anonymity's sake, I've decided to change my name on here.
That said, I've got a couple of things to get off my chest. Lately, it seems like EVERY school, daycare, and boy scout troop wants either a storytime or a tour of our beloved library. Now, I'm all for people coming here and using our resources, but when I hear about certain groups hitting up several of the branches in our system (AKA double-dipping), and when it gets to a point where every one of these groups demands to have their wants at a certain time (i.e., yesterday), well, it gets a little irksome. Actually, honestly, it pisses me off.
Rewind one week. This lady walks up to the desk and states that she's representing a local daycare. She wants to bring in 20-25 kids for a storytime. Fine. I tell her that since I don't do any of the scheduling, I'll have to pass her info off to our children's librarian and that she'll have to talk it out with her. This lady replies with, "Okay, but we'll need to come in next Thursday."
Am I smoking something, or did I just not tell this lady that I have no control over any of the scheduling?! And let's get something else straight too. NEEDS include air, water, food, shelter, and defecation. They do NOT include marching into your public library and making demands on the spot. That falls under "WANTS". Like "I want to kick this lady's ass and run her over in our parking lot." See the difference?
Just more of the usual, I guess.
Sunday, October 5, 2003 - 01:12 a.m. - Defenestrator
BARBED WIRE 3:16
After 3+ years of working at the public library, I would think that I have seen every form of idiocy that has ever existed on the face of God's green earth. Granted, most of the inanity falls under one of several distinct categories, but here's a recent incident I felt merited mentioning.
I received a phone call on the children's desk a week ago from someone who claimed that her daughter was at the library. Essentially, the lady wanted to ask when her daughter's time on the computer was up. According to our policy, we're not allowed to give any such information over the phone, because there is always the possibility that the person on the phone may not be the child's parent. Thus, I told this person likewise, at which she proceeded to throw a hissy-fit about how it was my job to look after her daughter's responsibility. In the end, I handed the phone to my boss, who said the same thing to this lady, and the whole mess ended up with this lady angrily hanging up on my boss.
My first thought was how could this lady even begin to lecture me on being negligent in ensuring our patrons' safety, when she basically admitted that she had dropped off her child (assuming this was really the mother) and LEFT her at the library. I mean, come on. Why does the mother need to wait until the daughter's computer time is up before coming to pick up her child? It's bad enough that the girl's at the library unattended. But whatever happened to a parent exercising some damn authority instead of giving in to the child's every whim? Of course, I just figured that the mom wanted some free babysitting on a Saturday afternoon (while she's off having babies with God-knows-how-many-different-men), but it still doesn't answer my question. She could have come up at any time and yanked her child off the computer, regardless of whether her time was up or not. Like I said, just a fucking idiot. Let's just think about what might have happened if I had decided to cave in and give out the information over the phone, AND if the person in question wasn't really the parent.
So what it comes down to is whether I do the right or wrong thing, someone's gonna bitch at me because either way, someone's not getting their way.
FYI, the mother finally came (about an HOUR after getting off the phone with my boss). Nice to see that she's really concerned for her daughter's safety.
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